“A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard.” - Ryan Howard And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” - Oscar Martinez Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. “I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” - Angela Martin “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” - Pam Beesley But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.” - Stanley Hudson Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” - Creed Bratton Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” - Dwight Schrute "I stopped caring a long time ago." - Creed Bratton "Boy, have you done lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it!" - Stanley Hudson "Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight." - Meredith His name? Creed Bratton." - Creed Bratton "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” - Jim Halpert "Dwight, you ignorant slut." - Michael Scott "If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward?" - Creed Bratton I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for." - Kelly Kapoor And then sometimes, I actually do scream. "Sometimes I get so bored, I just want to scream. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader." - Creed Bratton "I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. "Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?" - Kelly Kapoor "I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo." - Angela Martin First of all: How dare you?" - Kelly Kapoor My kids are going to be right about that." - Pam Beesley "When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. You could ask me, 'Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?' And I’d be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer." - Kelly Kapoor He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid." - Phyllis Vance "Oh, you’re paying way too much for worms, man. But it’s not like, this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised." - Michael Scott I’d love to be a part of one someday." - Michael Scott "Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick?" - Kevin Malone "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to." - Ryan Howard "I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try." - Jim Halpert That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make." - Michael Scott Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. "Dwight mercy-killed Angela’s cat." - Pam Beesley "Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." - Andy Bernard "I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out." - Kelly Kapoor "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard "One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway.I wonder who he ran over then." - Jim Halpert Like an improv conversation." - Michael Scott "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year." - Dwight Schrute But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." - Michael Scott "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing." - Dwight Schrute I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Sorry! Here are the 100 best quotes from The Office: You should know that these will 100 percent make you want to binge the entire series again. To revisit the show's enduring hilarity, I've pulled together some of the funniest quotes from The Office across all nine seasons. But every single Dunder Mifflin employee delivered iconic one-liners that pop up in your brain years later, and still make you laugh every time. Now, every fan of the series has their favorite characters (I'm a Kelly Kapoor stan, myself). First of all: How dare you?" And TBH, I wouldn't have it any other way. But seriously, is any show on Earth more quotable than The Office? The NBC comedy first premiered way back in *gasps in elder millennial* 2005 (!!), and yet somehow, it's still rare for a few months go by without hearing an, "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!" or a, "Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Question: Which quote from The Office is best? Answer: That's a ridiculous question.
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